i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
MIDGETS
????
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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