My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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