Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
