I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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