forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
