big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
