but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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