how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
