What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
