my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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