Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We left the knife in your bed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
