Barsexuality is the new black.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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