Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I want her autograph on my taint
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
