They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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