Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
