I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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