He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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