Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
