Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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