sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
