i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
