i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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