He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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