Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I could fuck to npr.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
