Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
