I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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