yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Someone signed my nipple.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
