Nicole vs. Life
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
