Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
