I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You dont lie about slip and slides
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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