I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
