im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
