don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
