Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
