we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
