More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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