Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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