You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
