I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
