I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
