I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
