Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
