i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
