So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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