Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
