You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
