He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
