So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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