Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
