I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
time to smoke my breakfast
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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