Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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