need another drink. this is the easiest way
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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